He's definitely not my first love anymore and now that I think about it, I never loved him at all. I thought I did... but I was young 😅.
I learned that even though someone will say "I love you", they don't actually mean it. I mean... y'all he straight up lied in my face and said "I'm not dealing with that girl" and "You have nothing to worry about..." Guess what y'all? THEY WERE GOING TOGETHER BEHIND MY BACK!
I also learned that some rumors are actually true (DISCLAIMER: That may not always be the case). Yeah I heard so many things about him, I thought people were just jealous or they didn't want us together. Yeah they didn't want me to end up heartbroken. They didn't want me to end up questioning myself as to where I went wrong. Some of those people were only trying to help me. Guess how I found out he cheated? THROUGH A RUMOR.
Sometimes SPACE is best. I needed to realize who I was dealing with and who I truly was as a person. Like... why would I allow myself to be with someone who skipped classes, literally asked me for money, tried to get me to do things that weren't so smart? (It took me so long to understand.)
Letting go is hard to do, but when you let go, you'll realize how much easier your life could've been without them. Why did I even waste my time considering someone who never considered my feelings?
Cutting all communication off is most of the time TOP TIER. Allowing someone to come back into your life whenever they want to is TOXIC. Now imagine if God walked in on your life only when it was feasible for him? Imagine wanting to be in someone's life only when they were shining, or had it altogether, just to leave and take their happiness with you?
Do NOT waste your time, energy and money on somehow who will not do the same. I can't remember how many times old dude asked me for a dollar, or five dollars. Did I ever get it back? Nope. He was a literal scrub.
Love is real and having feelings for someone is real, but loving yourself, knowing your standards and acknowledging that you can do so much better makes you realize why your current love may have to be your first love, and finally become your "never love again".
Get your life, stay in your bag, take care of yourself and flourish in grace sis. - Joanna